Guardian Angel
by Shinichi's Lover
Summary: "Where are we going?" "Heaven."


posted this on Tumblr around 6 months ago. revised some parts.

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She watched him wondering to himself.

When he read his father's books, wondering how his father would have looked like if he were still alive. Wondering how his father's life right now, whether he was enjoying his afterlife in heaven, or, suffering in the fires of hell. No matter which it was, he wished he could be with his father right now.

She watched him crying helplessly.

When his mother continuously beat him, even when it was not his fault in the first place. Afraid of speaking up, afraid of blending in with friends in school, afraid of being home – because even playing at the park alone would be fine compared to being at home. Home is hell – at least to him. He cried himself to sleep on the night she died, not because he was sad, but because she didn't bring him along with her. But after several thoughts and considerations, perhaps dying separately is better compared to dying together. Because he didn't want to be together with her even after they died.

She watched him smiling sadly.

When his best friend kept on supporting him, making him know that he wasn't alone – yet he couldn't chase away the emptiness he felt inside his heart. The emptiness that didn't seem like it would go away anytime soon. No, it didn't seem like it would even disappear. His best friend was like a sunflower, shining brightly with the streaks of the sun, and still managed to maintain its brightness during nighttime. Him? He was like an empty shell, or a ticking bomb – waiting for the right time to explode, to leave this world without any traces left behind.

She watched him falling in love with the wrong girl.

The girl managed to stir his resolve, making him somehow realise life was worth living. But when she whispered sweet words to him, only to attack him afterwards – it didn't scare him at all. His resolve remained as it was, because there was no way a mere girl could fix him.

She watched him walking aimlessly on the streets.

When he was hungry beyond words, unable to eat any human food – and disgusted when he was attracted to human meat instead. So, he waited. And waited. Just to starve himself to die. But some ghouls found him and nursed him back to health. He despised them. His wish almost came true – but was shattered into pieces due to the kindness he didn't ask for.

She watched him fighting a losing battle.

The reaper was too skilful – giving him heavy injuries, not that he minds them anyways. He was actually relieved to find someone so powerful. Someone who could grant his wish. Finally, he thought, as his head was stabbed multiple times. But his wish didn't come true. He lost his memories instead.

She watched him living his new life peacefully.

With his new mentees, his new 'parents', his new job. He seemed happy on the outside; but on the inside, he wasn't. The same emptiness he felt back then was still there, gnawing at him like a parasite, haunting his mind endlessly.

She watched him getting his memories back.

He came up with a new resolve, a resolve that had always been there at the back of his mind- it never left him. At all. And it scared her. So much.

She watched him dying.

When he fought the same reaper, trying his best to save his precious friend whom he considered like his little sister. But he had something else on his mind. Which was the same resolve that he'd always had for 20 years long. He was fully prepared.

She watched him staring at her.

"Am I… not dead?" He asked, his eyes heavy, his body failing him. But through his eyes he saw a beautiful angel, dressed in white, her light blue hair covered her right eye, giving him a sad smile as if she had known him all her life.

"Please, kill me." He begged, coughing blood and suddenly it was getting harder to breathe.

She kneeled down next to him, caressing his cheek somewhat affectionately before she pulled him onto her lap, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair. Her fingers felt cold, or was it him?

"Who… are you?" His voice croaked, his eyes trying to focus, but he could feel it – his heart getting weaker, his feet getting colder. He was dying, so slowly, so _painfully_ slow.

"I'm your guardian angel." She whispered, her voice sounded lovely. Her soft lips found his forehead. "I've been watching you, Kaneki Ken. It's alright now. After this – you'll be free. You won't have to suffer anymore."

"You were… watching me this whole time?"

Her eyes shut tight, a single tear escaped her eye. Every time – every single time he wanted to kill himself, she stopped him. That was all she could do. She couldn't stop his thoughts, she could only stop his action. But her power was getting weaker as she had used them on him _for God knows how many times_.

"…Yes. Since you were born. But it was hard. You were – suicidal. I… I have used up my power. I couldn't protect you this time. I'm sorry."

Were those… tears? Someone actually cried for him. How foolish he was, he thought that no one would ever care for him – but yet someone – no, this _angel_ did.

"Thank you, really." He coughed, more blood splashing out of his mouth. "Will I be… seeing you… agai-" his words were left hanging in the cold, dry air. After years and years of wishing for death, finally, his heartbeat stopped permanently. His hands fell to his sides. His eyes shut closed.

But it was only for a short moment. Suddenly, his eyes were wide opened. And he saw her, cradling him in her arms, crying her heart out. Strangely, he wasn't in her arms anymore. He could see his own body, but his consciousness didn't belong there.

 _Ah. I'm dead. And she's mourning._

He walked towards her, she swiftly wiped her tears as she saw him – _alive_ , smiling sheepishly at her.

Carefully, she laid the dead body in her arms onto the ground and stood up, taking his hand in her, and together, they walked, far away, away from his lifeless body.

"Where are we going?" He asked. Even though, to be honest, he didn't really care. Anywhere is fine if he's with her.

"Heaven."


End file.
